MEG-A-BIT: Singing in the Rain :)

First off, I'm sorry that I haven't updated for a little while. Many of you have been continuously checking, with the realization that nothing has changed. I'm surprised I even get page views every day.
The truth is, I've gotten on and started a dozen different entries, but the words just haven't been coming to me. I haven't known what to write.

Writers block? No, I wouldn't consider it that. I'm not a great writer of any sorts. I just haven't really understood a lot of things lately. I haven't seen the big picture as well as I used to.

Rainy days...

Days that SHOULD consist of:
-sweats
-a hoodie
-a beenie
-glasses
-long socks
-enough make-up to feel simple but beautiful
-the biggest blanket you own
-a cuddle buddy (even a Teddy Bear will do for those of you single ladies like me ;))
-a window
-Imagine Dragons, Jack Johnson, Mumford and Sons, Priscilla Ahn and my best friend Frank Sinatra
-a guitar
-books
-movies (August Rush, Burlesque, and The Fox and the Hound should do)
-writing and drawing utensils
-And the ever most important.... mint hot chocolate in your favorite mug <3

Whenever it's raining, I imagine my dream life.

Living in the city (Either Seattle, or New York) in a really tall apartment building with a fantastic view.

something to this effect

I'd live with roommates, male and female (like that of "The New Girl").

We'd be each other best friends. Each others support group.

I would get homesick, but they would always be by my side.

We'd meet up for lunch and stay up late on weekends.

I'd be working for a big company or magazine. Working with their advertisements and designs.

Eventually (in my late 20's) I would find that special someone. We would get married and move out of New York to raise our family. 2 boys and 2 girls. They would have a childhood similar to mine. I LOVED my childhood.

We'd take spontaneous trips to Disneyworld, and have big shindigs for their birthdays. We'd laugh and play all the time and always want to be together.

They'd grow up, and we'd forever be close.

My husband and I would travel. We would see the world together and grow old together.

It would be a crazy life- but I would love every dang second of it.

That's the dream.... Some dream eh?

Likely? Probably not exactly....

But you know what? No matter what DOES happen, it will be the best and I most likely wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING.

I have been so blessed to be surrounded by so many people that love and support me. People that make me want to be better, want to do better, and share many laughs and smiles with me.

Even with all the bad in the world:

The millions of zits I might get.

The hardships and trials I might need to go through,

The bad music that I will be forced to listen to,

Those days that I feel so lonely,

When I run out if skips on Pandora

The people that are harder to deal with than most,

Those 10 pounds that I can't seem to get rid of,

The holiday's I might spend alone,

The tragedies that might occur,

And the rainy days that are maybe way more depressing than this one,

I will always have them to turn to. <3

Being up here at college, sometimes it feels as though no one cares. I go out of my way to meet people and sometimes it feels like the people have no interest in learning about who I am as much as I do in them. Then I pull out pictures of my past. I take a minute to think of the good things.

I have amazing roommates that I can laugh with.

I have made friends up here that DO care. I just lose sight of it sometimes from dwelling on the past.

I have AMAZING taste in music that helps me to slip away at times. ;)

I have the ability to run. Running has been a lifesaver.

I have a family that is there through think and thin. We're close whether there are feet, or states between us. No matter what is happening, they ALWAYS make me smile.

And I have my amazing past. Pictures, videos, recordings, documents, quotes, and memories.

Like my good friends Ella Fitgerald and Louis Armstrong say, "They Can't Take That Away From Me".

I think I'm a bit crazy. I have a Facebook, a Twitter, an Instagram, a blog, a poem book, a dream journal, sketchbook, and a regular journal. Through all this though, I never feel like I capture my feelings, surroundings, and experiences 100% and that's what frustrates me. Maybe that's why I have so many different documentations. I can only hope that all of it will somehow fit together and be complete.
All I can say is one day, my posterity are going to get sick of going through my things... sorry :/

I don't think I do it for my posterity though... I think I do all this for my own benefit. It's important for me to look back at all these and discover how much I've changed and grown. They remind me of who I am and what is most important in my life.

Documentation.... very important to me :)

With this new mission change too, things got thrown totally out of wack. At first, I was like "Yeah! I'm gonna go serve the Lord and spread the gospel! Everyone on Earth will know the truth!"

But after everything settled down and it was no longer what everyone was talking about, I really got to thinking and praying. I don't feel the need to go. The experience would be amazing! But I feel I have other dreams and goals that I need to continue working on here at home. At least for now.

So although I might not end up having a life like my dream life- A life like those you see on TV and in movies, I know it will still be amazing because I'll be surrounded by all these people.

And one day I will find that special someone and we will be sealed for eternity. And who knows, maybe it will be raining on that day too... <3