Autumn fever.

Helloooooo readers! (if there even are any.. Please comment and let me know!)

This has been the craziest week ever and now I finally have time to write a bit. I had 3 exams this last week. College is a ton harder than high school; specifically senior year. I felt like I had been studying allll week this last week. I didn't get out to do much, that's for sure!

The stress ended at 10:15 today though. That was when my one and only Friday class got over. I'm enrolled in two science classes this year. One about Biology, and one about Aliens... yes, aliens. "Intelligent Life in the Universe" to be technical in terms. The class is strange, but i've always been one who loved to lay on the tramp on Summer nights and stare at the stars and just dream... so learning about what is going on in the Universe is fairly fascinating.

I didn't do as well as I would have liked on all three of the exams.. but hey, getting A's in college isn't as important as it was in high school. In high school, it was important to get them for scholarships to get INTO college. Here and now, i'm realizing that it's all about doing our best. We're here to learn life skills and figure out who were are... gaining book knowledge during that process is just a bonus I guess.

I shouldn't be too hard on myself though, I didn't do too bad. Especially after taking into account that I was sick with mono for a month, left school for two days to go to Disneyworld, and missed another two classes to attend the funeral of my dear Great Aunt Alice. It's been a more than overwhelming past month. Sometimes I wonder how i've made it through.. but I don't really have to wonder. I know the answer to that. <3

Things are finally starting to slow down though. I had time to stop and notice the colors on the leaves yesterday. This is my all-time favorite time of year. There's just something special about Autumn. Sweaters, beanies, scarfs, and boots. Orange, yellow, brown and red. Pumpkins, squash, and pie. Haunted houses, corn mazes, walks in the park, and a slight chill in the air. Thanksgiving, Halloween, General Conference and my birthday.

That's right.. the big 19. Okay, so I guess it's not THAT big... But it's another year of experience gained. That's a big deal. I'm a little heartbroken that I don't have birthday plans yet. I have a feeling this year isn't going to be too memorable. I mean, it's impossible to beat my 18th birthday party with the big blow-up slide, right? But I'll be 19 soon... no more kid stuff. ;)

Okay, yeah right...... Maybe I'll clean the sink at Angie's or something. ;)

Music.... I miss it. More than I ever thought I would.  Recently I've started listening to Imagine Dragons, and John Mayer again. Ahhhhh I love them <3 It's like I have certain artists that I listen to at different times of the year. Fall is here! Choral stuff is also adding it's way onto my iPod. I miss singing during this time of the year as well. Working on all our Christmas pieces and festival stuff... It was heaven <3

I've even been thinking about taking some dance classes again lately. I miss dance too. It's intertwined in my soul! During this time of year, I can't help but think about Thriller and all of the awesome experiences I had with that. Mmmmmm I had fun in high school.


College is great though! Humans vs. Zombies on campus, Fugitive games at night, Hocus Pocus on TV, leaves changing colors in the mountains, and new friends to experience it all with! It's the best feeling ever!

I'm continually learning more about myself up here. I'm a clean freak - I admit it. The dishes in the sink and on the table, toothpaste on the counter, and hair in the shower is definitely getting to me.. but i'm also learning patience along with it. And, I'm really bad at studying... haha I never had to do much of it in high school, so I'm gaining self control to sit down and read a textbook for a couple hours a night. It's harder than I thought... I get distracted too easily.

Ever had those people in your life though that every time after you talk to them, you just feel like crap? Maybe because they're mean to you, or they bring back bad memories, or they just aren't a good influence? But you still can't seem to let them go, because they're your friend? Let them go. You don't deserve that. I promise, from experience, you'll be much happier without them. Go live a good life and leave them in the dust. If there are people in your life that don't lift you up-- drop them. Life's too short to be miserable. (Just a little tid-bit of advice;)) I'm getting happier because I realized I deserve better.

I've spent a ton of time in the apartment though. Maybe it's just because I was studying so much this last week, but tonight, i'm getting out! I deserve it, I think! I'm making plans to go do something fun with my roommate:) Looove her!

The most important things I've learned though this last week? There are a couple.

CONFIDENCE is key! I've always had a hard time with confidence. I always compare myself to others and have felt that I'm not as good as they are. My whole life i've struggled with this. So this is something I've been focusing on a lot since I've been up here, and i'm starting to feel a difference. I'm happier when I am proud of who I am. Be proud. We've all accomplished hard things!

Also, my Savior loves me and puts obstacles in my life to strengthen me and help me to grow. But also so that I, in turn, may help others with the knowledge I have gained from those experiences. It's been a hard month... really, it has. Harder than any other month that I've ever had in my life so far. I think. But because of the things that I have gone through; the loneliness, heartbreak, self-dicipline, and spiritual temptations, I have been able to help a few people who are very important to me. I've gained relationships back with those who I thought were gone forever, and have been there for friends who have always been there for me. What a great feeling that is.

I'm leaving the past behind me though. They were great memories and times that I will NEVER forget, but it's time to move on and make new adventures. I love and will ALWAYS love all those who were a part of my youth, but i'm heading into adulthood now - almost 19! ;) It's time to make new adventures with new people. And I love the people up here. And although everything has been real hard lately, I'm as happy as ever! This is where i'm supposed to be right now, and everything will all work out.

Sigh of relief.

Fall is here.......

Breathe in the fresh cold air.... the fresh new start.

The hard part is over.