What Are You Afraid Of?

It's that time of year again <3 

The time that the leaves are changing.

The time the air gets crisp.

The time of apples and pumpkins.

The time known for F E A R.

I believe there two different types of fear. 

The outward fear.

or fear of the things around us

And the inward fear.

or fear of things out of our control or knowledge.

I've learned a lot about FEAR this last week. I've actually experience both types first hand. 

Story Time!

THE OUTWARD FEAR

My roommate and I were walking home from an intense study session at the library. It was about 10 o'clock at night. Keep in mind that I have never once been afraid of anything on this campus. But there we were, walking down our mountain of a hill, when this guy jumps out of the bushes right in front of us and growls. "WHAT THE HAY!?" I did that freakish horse neigh. Not a pleasant sight. What in the world did I ever do to him?! Then he just walked away.. like it was no big deal. I walked away giggling, but was super jumpy the rest of the night. I haven't been that jumpy in a long time.

THE INWARD FEAR

This story takes a little bit longer to tell. Truth is, I didn't even realize fear was inside of me, until someone else pointed it out.

I was texting one of my friends about some things that I was stressing about, when she gave me this advice:

"STOP IT!" 

This short response is the whole reason we are best friends. Bluntness. Followed by an increase of love in a follow-up message:

"I just want you to not be afraid. Fear is our human kryptonite. God does not give us fear -- we have faith!"

There it was. There was the mention of the stain on my shirt. There was the notice of my weakness. There was the topic that would be on my mind for the rest of the week. Fear & FAITH.

I thought about those words a lot as I was going to bed that night. 

The next day, I went about as usual. Taking the usual accounting notes, and feeling my tummy rumble in economics.. I went to my LDS Institute's "Religion In Life" that they have every Friday where a selected member of a nearby ward comes to give a talk on a topic they felt inspired about. 

I sat next to my friends, and as the choir was singing, I wrote down a short paragraph regarding some thoughts that were going through my mind including these few sentences that said: 

"Just go for it! Don't be fearful!"

The speaker then got up to begin. His name is Scott Wilde. He introduced a little about himself and then explained that him and his wife had felt inspired to address the topic of:

"Hushing our FEARS with FAITH." 

I was in awe.... I nudged my friend next to me and had her read what I had just written down, not a minute before. Her eyes grew big just as mine probably were. Right then I felt, as I have many times before, my Heavenly Father's love and awareness of me. He knows what I have been thinking. He knows what is in my heart. And he sent not just one, but multiple people to me to reassure me that I NEED NOT BE AFRAID.

General Conference happened recently. That is when a Prophet of God, and all his Apostles speak to US. To the children of God. To give us all knowledge that we need to lead happy and substantial lives. And I learned so so much from their words. 

One big theme that stuck out to me personally, was that God has a plan for us. I learned that I don't have to see and understand the big picture of my life, I just have to have faith to do the little things He asks of me, and the understanding of my purpose and plan will be uncovered little by little. Which is hard, because I am so impatient sometimes.

In conference, the idea of PONDERIZING was also taught by Elder Devin G. Durrant:

"I invite you to "ponderize" one verse of scripture each week. The word ponderize is not found in the dictionary, but it has found a place in my heart. So what does it mean to ponderize? I like to say it's a combination of 80% extended pondering and 20% memorization.

There are two simple steps:

First, choose a verse of scripture each week and place it where you will see it every day.

Second, read or think of the verse several times each day and ponder the meaning of its words and key phrases throughout the week."

I have done just that this last week. And I truly believe that the whole experience I just explained, happened because I was focusing on the spirit more from the scripture I had chosen.

The scripture I chose was found in the Book of Mormon. 3 Nephi 11:3. This is when a group of people from the ancient American continent are standing around, right before the resurrected Savior himself come among them.

3 And it came to pass that while they were thus conversing one with another, they heard a voice as if it came out of heaven; and they cast their eyes round about, for they understood not the voice which they heard; and it was not a harsh voice, neither was it a loud voice; nevertheless, and notwithstanding it being a small voice it did pierce them that did hear to the center, insomuch that there was no part of their frame that it did not cause to quake; yea, it did pierce them to the very soul, and did cause their hearts to burn.

I chose this scripture to be my focus this last week because I was determined to HEAR and KNOW the spirit. I wanted to make sure I would be one that WOULD understand the voice of the Lord if&when He spoke to me. I know I understood the spirit as Brother Wilde spoke.

-----

ANOTHER COOL EXPERIENCE!!!  So this last week, I was able to jam out at the Third Day and Brandon Heath Christian concert. It was INCREDIBLE. I went with two of my friends. One of which is a member of my faith, and the other which isn't, but we are all Christians, and we were all surrounded by fellow Christians. It was the most uplifting concert I had ever been to. It really made me love life and appreciate all the good people in this world. Usually when I've been to concerts in the past, I've been a bit afraid of some of the people that could be there. Those that push you around in mosh pits, or those old creeper guys that stare at you for too long. But this concert, was full of love. Love for each other and love for the Lord. Made me think of the scripture in Moroni 8:16 that says: 

"Perfect love casteth out all fear."

There was a part in the concert, when when of the singers pulled out a $20 bill from his pocket and handed it to a man in the audience and told us all to pass the bill around until someone in the audience ends up with it at the end of the concert. There were probably about 200 people sitting in front of our row, and the $20 made it all the way back to us. I was amazed. I thought: almost anywhere else, that $20 probably wouldn't have made it past the first row. My how I love Christians. And boy am I proud to call myself a Christian.

The man that was seated next to me has left a place in my heart. He was very quiet and I could tell he felt a little insecure, but I could sense the love and faith he has for his God. He would raise his arm in praise at the mention of the cross. He would bow his head and nod as the musicians told stories about God keeping together their marriage. And right before the last song, when Third Day was explaining and testifying that God doesn't waste people and that God has a specific plan for each one of us, tears were streaming down his face. 

When I glanced over and saw this, I found I had tears rushing down mine. 

We are all weak. We are all unsure, and I know that when we realize these two things, we all have a portion of fear. But you can do it!

There really aren't words to describe all the good and happy feelings I felt that night. All the pleasant people that were around me and all the time my heart smiled. I know that was because I felt the spirit of the Lord and because my FAITH was increasing.

In another talk given in conference, there was a quote given that said:

"Faith grows not by chance, but by CHOICE."

I want to testify that I know "Ponderizing" works. I know that it builds our faith. I know that as I studied this verse, I have come closer to the spirit. Our Heavenly Father loves you and is aware of every single stain on your shirt, every situation you are in, and good and bad feelings that come to you.

I encourage you to put this into practice, to question yourself as a Christian, and to truly taste and swallow the saying that "GOD HAS A PLAN FOR YOU."

With that being said, I hope you take time to go to a haunted house, or corn maze, and enjoy this season and holiday. The beauty of Fall never ceases to blow me away!

Donut Worry! Bee Happy!

Sincerely, Meg

All is Well.

Hello, readers!

Life for me this week has been great! I have had some major eye opening and spirit inviting activities and enlightenment's this week that I would like to share. It has been so refreshing:)

My YSA ward had our "Especially for Young Single Adults (EFYSA)" This last Friday & Saturday. It was seriously the best thing ever. JUST what I needed.

Friday night we had our Stake President speak to us, and answer questions that some of the YSA had written down for him. And then after the devotional with him, we went outside on the field and broke up into little groups so that we could meet new people and talk with them. I absolutely LOVED my group and I loved meeting so many new people. After getting home, you'd be surprised at how difficult it can be to meet new people... We had a homework assignment to get into even smaller groups and create a MormonAd. Ours won in my book :) We talked a lot about the topic of being OVERWHELMED. Which is something I felt on my LDS mission quite often. Satan and God both use the term. Satan uses us being overwhelmed as a time to make us feel like giving up and breaking down, and God wants us to be overwhelmed, because that is when we turn to him on our knees for help, strength, and guidance.

So if you're feeling overwhelmed right now, I promise it's a good thing, just don't give up, and use it to come closer to God, and His plan for you.

Saturday was super good, too! We had workshops all day, and I learned a lot about Courage, and the Atonement.

Courage is always seen as a POSITIVE thing. It doesn't really take courage to do something evil or sinful... Anything that requires us to have courage, usually stretches us and pushes us in a RIGHTEOUS direction.

So RIGHTEOUSNESS uses courage.

And EVIL uses disCOURAGEment.

How cool is that???! One of my favorite quotes since I've been home, goes something like this--- "We don't fall into Satan's hands when we make a mistake, we fall into his hands when we get DISCOURAGED & depressed about our mistakes"

I know for a fact that we ALL make mistakes, and I also know for a fact that so many of us too often are our own worst critic and we are WAY too hard on ourselves. I am extremely guilty of this. But something that has been on my mind deeply is to "be happy in any circumstances" Nothing will show Satan what is up, more than us being HAPPY in our trials.

I read the first presidency message in the LDS Ensign for the month of July, and smiled when I read that it was about our beloved pioneers. My mission truly helped me gain a stronger testimony & knowledge of them.

President Uchtdorf, in it, talked about how one of the greatest things we can learn and apply from the lives of the pioneers, is their ATTITUDE & OPTIMISM.

"Despite having every reason to shout "All is not well," they cultivated an attitude we cannot help but admire today. They looked beyond their troubles to eternal blessings. They were grateful in their circumstances. Despite evidence to the contrary, they sang with all the conviction of their souls, "All IS well!"
Another thing to learn from them, is their COMPASSION. They didn't try to get to Zion in a race and leave their brothers and sisters stranded behind them. The first thing in their minds was to help their brothers and sisters around them get through the storms and rivers, and to leave help and guidance to those who come after them. We must do the same. Stop trying to "get ahead" in life, and help others to get there with us. Success is only success, if we help others to find that success also.

One of my favorite quotes about this was from the talk "Your 4 Minutes" given in a conference about a year ago. A olympic medalist said that she wanted to do her best, but she wanted her competitors to do their best too. How great is that?? We can all succeed and non if us is better than another.

Tonight, for the Sabbath, I got my parents to sit down with me to watch 17 Miracles.. If you haven't seen it, I encourage you to watch it! I believe it is on NETFLIX- and especially at this time of year, as we are about to celebrate the 24th of July- Pioneer day, it's a great way to gain a knowledge and appreciation for all the went through.

As I watched it again, and was reminded of all the stories, and memories of these pioneers that I had the opportunity to share while serving a transfer as a missionary at the Mormon Trail Center, The spirit that was on that hallowed ground, is so special to me. And that feeling is one that will forever come back to me as I am reminded of the pioneers.

Tonight, I was OVERWHELMED, at the power of their faith and testimonies once again. Overwhelmed to the point where I have felt the urge to come again to my Father in prayer to ask for a greater desire to serve those around me. A greater sense to push forward, and a greater sense to forgive and understand. I want a faith like theirs.

While sitting in EFYSA this week, I had felt a strong urge, to change the focus of what I've wanted my major in school to be. The subject that I've set out to study right now, I really haven't ever felt super set on. My mission has changed the idea of the career that I want, and as I was surrounded by the spirit this weekend, I have felt the courage to dive into something that I have never even considered being a part of before. I'm registering this week, for a CNA class, and I have been so excited!! It is so strange to me, logically to be interested in this, but I am, and I know this was something that was brought by no coincidence.

Do not be afraid! Have the courage to be on the Lord's side each and every day. You are not alone. The Lord will provide you with miracles beyond your belief. Pray for specific miracles. Be yourself, and share your voice, because you never know which person you talk to that will need YOU. Keep your testimony at the core of your very being, and always remember who loves you most.

1 Nephi 19:9

"And the world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught; wherefore they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. Yeah, the spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because of his long-suffering towards the children of men."

I hope y'all are keeping your eye out for all the tender mercies of the Lord in your lives. I hope you are stretching yourself to reach goals and desires that you may not even know you have. It is so exciting to try new things and discover new things about yourself.

Be grateful in your trials! Sometimes we just need to do what is best for us, even if it is harder. Those things that are most worth while, aren't always the easiest.

Donut Worry, and Bee Happy!!!

Sincerely, Meg

Meg-a-what??

Hello:)

My name is Meg. It has been quite a while since I have posted on this here blog. I have been serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints for 18 months in Nebraska and Iowa. I returned home in January and am just now getting back into the blog world.

Because of the change that has taken place in who am I and what I have learned about myself from being away from the "world" for 18 months, I figured I could re-vamp the style of the blog. So welcome to the new name and new layout. Yay!

MEG-A-BIT.
When I was little, my parents owned a computer store not too far from the house I grew up in. My whole family has been very computer savvy, and even with the years that have passed since selling the store, that hasn't changed. I would love the days that would be spent at the store after pre-school & kindergarten. My brother would pick me up, and take me to the little strip mall where the store lived and I would spend hours playing my Barbie PC games, and watching my brothers tackle new enemies on StarCraft. My oldest brother ran the store quite often, and I still remember the chuckles that would come from both of us, when so many of our customers would think I was his daughter.

All those that worked there had custom green polo shirts with fuchsia collars and embroidered lettering that said "MICRO-BITS", stating clearly to all that walked in our Micro-bit store, that they were there to serve and help them. I was little, I sure didn't know much to answer questions, but even still, I had my own little polo that had "MEG-A-BIT" embroidered right under the company logo.

It was a nick name. One that I absolutely loved and bragged to tell people about, even though I didn't quite understand all the humor and irony of it. I just knew my family was proud or their cleverness, and I loved to be proud with them.

A Megabit:

The megabit is a multiple of the unit bit for digital information. The prefix mega is defined in the International System of Units as a multiplier of 10⁶ (1 million), and therefore

1 megabit = 10⁶bits = 1000000bits

So there you have it folks... I'm just a bunch of bits. Hopefully the Reeses bits.. those are my favorite.

Annnnnyway.... I'm back, and more ready to write and discover life than ever before. Here we go!!!!!

Feet

This is my Word Meditation Essay that I wrote for English. I won $50 with it and it will also be published in "Voices on Stage and in Print" for next semesters 2010 students to read and discuss in their classes.
The purpose of this essay was to pick one word that meant something to us and to describe different "scenes" throughout our life that incorporated this word.
I grew up with many insecurities about myself, and this essay discusses those insecurities and getting over them. 
It's a bit personal, but I'm also a bit proud of it. Thanks for reading <3

Feet

“Podophobia: irrational fear of feet. People suffering from this feel afraid or even disgusted by other people’s feet, or their own. They may even fear other people touching their feet. Phobic individuals generally do not like the appearance or feel of feet and find them as being gross and unsightly” (Phobia and Fear of Feet).

I am in 6^th grade at my best friend’s house. School is over for the day and we lay on the floor in her dining room. Centered between the walls, a smooth, dark, wood table that seems small in comparison to the size of the room, sits and we lay underneath it staring at the woodworking and screws below the tabletop. My arms and legs feel itchy from the green shag carpet that rubs against them. I have ankle high, candy-cane striped socks on. I always have socks on.

“I love your socks!” Sarah breaks the silence. I thank her for the compliment and then sheepishly tuck my feet behind me. “Where did you get them?” It begins. She is really good at asking questions.

                  “They were a Christmas present from my grandma” I reply, still feeling timid about the subject because she’s gazing at my feet while I talk.

                  She looks over at my face, twisting her body into a weird shape because we are still lying under the table, and asks another question. “How is your grandma doing?” She seems super intent. Sarah knew that my grandma was going into surgery the day before, however I never told her what for. That’s kind of her to remember.

                  “She’s doing much better! The surgery went well, she just can’t walk for a few more days”.

“Oh, was the surgery on her feet? What is your deal with feet anyways?” Bam. Sarah always knew how to get me to tell my secrets. But she is my best friend; I trust her and can talk to her about anything – even hard things.

I noticed a ticking coming from the grandfather clock at the end of the dining room. I begin to answer her question, staring at the bottom of the table the entire time and grasping the chair leg next to my hip for support.

My mom’s family has always had feet problems. My grandma went into surgery to fix her toes that were beginning to form into abnormal shapes. My mom has weird bunions. My three brothers’ feet are fine. And me? Well I truly have the best looking feet out of all of them. They’re actually pretty normal- at least my right foot is.

When still in my mother’s womb, my parents went in for an ultra-sound and the image revealed me sucking on my left foot. When I was born, my father noticed first off that my left foot was a little rougher than my right. It was nothing to be concerned about, the doctors weren’t worried at all, it was just a birthmark per say. A birthmark that has never gone away. Although my feet look okay, I have always hated them. I hate people talking about them, people looking at them, touching them and I definitely hate other people’s feet next to me. I even hate the word feet. It rhymes with the most disgusting vegetable on the planet.

After I told Sarah all this, she started to laugh. I, being so startled, swiftly sit up to glare at her and bonk my head on the table forcing me to lie back down. We both start to giggle, and they are deep giggles that come right from the chest.

For another hour, we lay there and talk about how much we despise feet. Nubby little toes, smelly shoes, and the dirt and mud that they constantly come into contact with. They can be quite disgusting. I know that Sarah is my best friend for a reason. She understands my insecurities with feet and she herself might also have some problems with them.

************************************

 “Foot: a unit of length, originally derived from the length of the human foot. It is divided into 12 inches.” The length of a foot is believed to have originally derived from the Greeks as their fundamental unit of measurement. Legend has it that this Greek unit was based on an actual dimension of the foot of the mortal son of Zeus, Hercules. (History of Measuremet).

I am in 8^th grade on a family vacation in New York City. My parents and I leave our hotel and instantly become submerged into the continually crowded city streets. Black is everywhere. Black slacks, black doors, black windows, black coats, and black snow underneath the masses of black shoes. We shuffle along the sidewalks like a machine belt in a factory. Turn left, turn right, stop, go. The people of NYC are all so focused and everyone’s faces are completely blank except for their matching rosy cheeks caused by the below-freezing temperatures. I plainly smell the profane odor from the sewer that sneaks up through the cracks in the street.

We turn another corner and I suddenly stop. The black sea continues its pace, and from above I look like a knot in the bark of a tree; staying stationary while the grain moves around me. I look up and see the Empire State Building for the first time. The power and stability of the imperial skyscraper encompasses me and I find myself sharply drawing the frozen air into my lungs. It’s 1,454 feet tall.

I am 6 feet tall. Compared to the Empire State Building, I am just a single droplet in that black sea of people. For what feels like the first time in my life, I actually blend in and feel comfortable. My height no longer feels like a big deal.

My parents and I continue to shuffle with the crowd straight towards the entrance of the tower. I glide through the revolving door and feel my ears and nose tingle and burn from the sudden shock of the difference in temperatures. While thawing out, I find I am drawn to many different signs around the lobby. These signs give a history about the building and the information on one of the signs in particular stood out to me.

“Americans built the Empire State Building to hold the record of the tallest building in the world. Its structure and design allowed the Empire State Building to be a symbol of confidence towards the American People.”

Confidence. This was something I always lacked. My height always caused me to be the first one noticed in any situation, never feeling comfortable in my own skin. Comparing me to a group of kids my age, I was always the “Empire State Building” towering high above all their heads. Except after reading this sign, I didn’t feel like the Empire State Building at all. It was a structure that stood fearless and valiant and it had something that I, all of a sudden, envied.

************************************

Dancers need to develop many different muscles and become familiar with all different parts of their bodies in order to avoid injury and succeed in their field. Out of all their dance features, they have always been know for their feet. Over 50% of a dancer’s injuries occur in the lower extremities. “The foot/ankle area is vulnerable to a wide range of injuries, including stress fractures, tendon injuries, sprains, and strains” (Sports Safety). Stretching, massaging, and finding ways to strengthen the muscles, tendons, and ligaments in the foot are some of the best ways to avoid injury.

I’m in 11^th grade sitting on the floor of my second home, the dance studio in my high school. I spend more time in this building than I do in my real home. The studio is hot and sweaty and the mirrors on the wall are fogging up from the moisture and energy that is distributing itself throughout. I curl my legs in front of me, and go in search of my bear claws that, of course, always end up in the very bottom of my navy blue duffle. I find one of them; it’s for my right foot. I slip it on easily and then dive back in to find the other.

“Alright, everyone up! Hurry hurry hurry!” My coach shouts. Our water break ends and we need to get up to begin again. I find my second one and slip it on my left foot, feeling my calluses and dry skin scratch against the fabric of the claw.

I jump up and jog onto the smooth wood-planked dance floor and head to the rear of the room. I always stand in the back of the formation because of my height, but I don’t mind because I get nervous being front and center. The music starts to blare as I take my first position and wait for my cue in the beat of the song. The rush of cool air from the AC hits the entire backside of my body and sends a chill up my spine.  I dance.

Twenty-three other bodies travel around me, moving in sync with me like a wave in the ocean. We have practiced over and over again and by now I know the choreography by heart. Being so aware of my teammates around me, I don’t need to see where I’m going. I close my eyes and I let go. I let go of everything; my fears, my hopes and dreams, my worries, and my insecurities. I forget about the past and don’t even think to worry about the future. I get lost in the music and feel the rhythm happening at this very moment pulsate throughout every muscle. Tightening, squeezing, and flowing, my hands pull forward and stretch until I feel that my skin will rip.

And my feet. My feet and the dance floor are like a married couple. So familiar with each other that they know where they both will be before they get there, supporting and strengthening each other along the way. I stomp, sneak, and slide them across their other half.

The music stops and I freeze, gasping for cool air, but all that enters is the warm and moist. It melts my muscles allowing them to relax as I slowly move back to a neutral position. My heart still beats with the music’s rhythm that plays in my memory. My hands and feet tingle, but it’s comfortable and satisfying.

“Good job everyone! That was so much better than last time. Megan, that is the best that I have ever seen you do! Beautiful! I’m so impressed! Now that I know what you can do, you better keep it up.” My intimidating coach tells me. She can be really harsh, but I know she is genuine.

A huge smile spreads across my wet face. Apparently the routine not only looked good, but it felt good.

************************************

Footsie: A common and flirtatious practice done by clandestinely touching someone's foot or leg. Generally the two people must feel comfortable around each other and comfortable enough with themselves to feel good in following this practice (Psychology Today).

I am a freshman in college at my boyfriend’s house. We sit on the oversize leather couch in his upstairs living room. On the wall right next to us a huge bay window shows the view of the hay field in front of his house. The sun is setting for the day and the light warms our faces and causes a rainbow of shadows within the room. I place my covered feet on the ottoman right next to his bare feet.

“How are you doing?” he asks me in that smooth, deep voice that I love so much.

Rather than just the immediate response, “I’m good” that one usually receives as an answer, I pause to truly evaluate how I’m feeling. The corners of my cheeks begin to rise as I turn to look in his eyes, “I’m really happy”. He puts his arm around me and I cuddle into his warm embrace.

His foot then reaches over to touch mine, and I don’t shudder.

Works Cited

"Become an Advocate for Sports Safety." Dance Injuries. N.p., n.d. Web. 17 Jan. 2013.

Brewer, Jennifer. "Developing Foot Strength | Dance Teacher Magazine | Practical. Nurturing. Motivating. The Voice of Dance Educators." Dance Teacher Magazine Developing Foot Strength Comments. N.p., n.d. Web. 16 Jan. 2013.

"Flirting Fascination." Psychology Today: Health, Help, Happiness Find a Therapist. N.p., n.d. Web. 16 Jan. 2013.

Joanne. "History Of Measurement." History Of Measurement. N.p., n.d. Web. 19 Jan. 2013.

"Phobia and Fear of Feet." FEAR. N.p., n.d. Web. 19 Jan. 2013.

Please comment! I enjoy feedback:)

Sincerely, Meg

Fly Like an Eagle

People say humans can't fly.... but in my opinion, we fly fast!

Rush. Rush. Rush. Rush. Rush. Rush. Rush. Rush. Rush. Rush.

I feel like that's what we're always trying to do.

"The goal today is to be productive, stay busy, and get things DONE."
--- I know i'm guilty of having this attitude.

Although it is important to not get lazy and to yes, be productive--sometimes it's okay to stand still. To pause and smell the fresh spring flowers. To take a deep breath. To hear the birds chirp. To STOP.

It rained a lot this last week. Needless to say it was very common to see the average student with their hood up, speed racing down the sidewalks trying to dodge every rain drop that was splashing down. Just picture Flick, on A Bug's Life and you've got the right idea.

{It's like these aggies didn't know what to do with rain.... because for once it wasn't snow!}

Umbrellas were everywhere and couples were snuggling close trying to get out of the rain as fast as possible.

Me? No umbrella, no rain-boots, and no boy. Surprising, right!?.... (ahem. the "no rain-boots" part... not the "no boy" part.. :/ From all the shoes I have, you think I would own a pair of rain-boots)

Well, during this chaos, I caught myself doing the same thing as the other students. Trying to get OUT of the rain. And me, being who I am, not ever really wanting to conform to the bandwagon, decided to STOP.

My tweet for that day?

@megchecks
"Don't run from the rain,

but instead take a moment to stand in it.

#LetItComeDownOnMe"

I got soaked! {And to be honest, I probably wouldn't have stopped if I had actually gotten really ready that day} It felt so good to have water dripping from the ends of my hair and see the blurry drops that were on my glasses. I felt clean, pure, and I felt like I was LIVING.

Too often we run around like headless chickens. STOP THAT and do something new. Change it up a bit! Do something you normally wouldn't.

TAKE CHANCES. Live a little. Is your heart racing? Is your stomach full of butterflies? Good!!!!!!!
I used to try to avoid these sensations and avoid change because I didn't know how to handle them. They made me feel unstable and insecure.

But guess what? These are called LIVING. Experience it. As often as you can.

This last week I've done things that a year ago I would have never thought I would be brave enough to do. It's been a rush and I've felt my heart beat more than I have in months. It's been fun and I've been happy. :) <--- see that smile? It's here to stay.

Meet new people. Laugh for no reason. Eat too much chocolate. Kiss often. Cry a lot. Live some days in the clouds. Dream. And rub it off on others.

Feel too much. Because no one falls in love with a robot.

{only in movies - I do have to admit, I had a slight crush on C3PO but -secret- he's not real.}

************************************************

Now not only do humans fly, but time flies.

A year ago I was preparing for graduation. What? I feel like that was yesterday. Ever since I've graduated, time has zoomed past in just a wink. Just a split second! Just an episode of "Whose Line is it Anyway"! {which is returning in July, btw!!!!!} Time is gone, just like that!

Time never went by this fast before graduation. I was always waiting for the future. Nope, not anymore. Just close your eyes and it's here before you know it.

I leave on my mission in 90 days. When I got my call it was 120ish days... Oh boy.

Lately I've been thinking of things that I want to accomplish before I die. And I've become scared because I'm wondering if I'll have time to accomplish it all. And here I was a year ago thinking that I would just spend all my later-days in a rocking chair being bored.

THERE ISN'T TIME TO BE BORED.

But when I say it that way, it sounds like we should be running around like headless chickens.

Balance. ----We need to slow down in order for time to last longer. -----

Make sense? Good! Because i'm still confused.....

I guess "Live in the moment" +"YOLO" = what i'm trying to say.....

Life is great, and there is so much to enjoy and to experience. Get out there and do it and make every minute of your time worth while.

Sincerely, Megs

SHOUT-OUTS:

• As a shout out to my high school friends out there. Refer to the title.. ahaha bald eagle.

• SHOUT-OUT to my dear, lovely, beautiful friend Chakell!! I love this girl so much and I'm so grateful that twitter originally brought us so close :) Really though... we chit-chat through tweets cause we rarely get to see each other. But this girl is ALWAYS there when I need someone. She is so in tune with the spirit and she has answered many prayers. Thank you.

• SHOUT-OUT to my new friend, Sam! We also have a funny way that we just recently met. And he probably (or "probs" as a translation for my roommates ;) ) won't even read this anyway.. but I feel like I've known this kid for years.. but NOPE. Just weeks. He's awesome.

• SHOUT-OUT to my Georgia man, Kyle! It was great being able to see him this week when he came to Utah. Good luck in Ghana! See you in 2 1/2! Guys, missionaries are amazing.

HAVE A GOOD DAY, stand in the rain.

Sincerely, Meg

Mr. Brightside.

"And at last I seeeee the light! And it's like a fog has lifted! And at last I seeeee the light! And it's like the sky is new! And it's warm and real and bright. And the world has somehow shifted. All at once, everything looks different, Now that I seeeeee youu!!!"

Wow ummm... it's been quite the month. Going days and days and days without seeing any sign of blue sky....  Oh, and don't forget the constant Utah smog and inflation... it's been quite depressing. For everyone.

Everyone around me has been down and droopy. I couldn't stand to really get on social networks because post after post after post was negativity and endless complaining. I mean come on people! Look at the bright side of things.

But today is different:) I see the blue sky, I hear the birds chirp, and I even think a saw a patch of green grass walking to class this morning - but I could be wrong. It's been so long since I've seen grass I might have forgotten what it looks like. And although my nose is an endless fountain and my throat feels like a cat scratched it, I couldn't be more happy:)

One thing that I've learned - that I often forget about - is that

ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING!!

Lately many of my church lessons or school classes have been focusing on one's "happiness". Now, i'm not sure if that is because all the curriculum just happened to line up at the right time, or if happiness is something that i've been focusing on personally lately, but I've learned some things.

We shouldn't waste any time moping around and complaining about life when we could choose to go out a make a difference in our own lives.
Or even better... in the lives of others. Giving of my time to serve others is generally what makes me the most happy.

We should stop focusing on the past or the future and live in the present - finding the good things that are around us right now.
Often times I find myself anxious for a certain even to occur and then telling myself that once this day comes, I'll be so happy and excited. Then the day comes and passes and yes, I was happy, but if I would have focused on the present, I could have been a lot more happier.

Dieter F. Uchtdoft said this at the October 2012 general conference:

"Doesn’t it seem foolish to spoil sweet and joyful experiences because we are constantly anticipating the moment when they will end?

Do we listen to beautiful music waiting for the final note to fade before we allow ourselves to truly enjoy it? No. We listen and connect to the variations of melody, rhythm, and harmony throughout the composition.

Do we say our prayers with only the “amen” or the end in mind? Of course not. We pray to be close to our Heavenly Father, to receive His Spirit and feel His love.

We shouldn’t wait to be happy until we reach some future point, only to discover that happiness was already available—all the time! Life is not meant to be appreciated only in retrospect. “This is the day which the Lord hath made … ,” the Psalmist wrote. “Rejoice and be glad in it."

Jeesh... isn't he just amazing? Love him!

It is up to us to choose how we will react. I've been bad at this lately and have often found myself thinking negative or not-so-happy thoughts and wishing for certain days to arrive - letting days just fly past me without even thinking.

"Don't count the days, make the days count"

I've made many mistakes in the past, but the important thing is to try to correct them now. My time here is short. This life is short. Compared to God's eyes, life on Earth is just the blink of an eye. So be happy :)

Re-create relationships: life is way too short to hold grudges and lose friends.

Tell someone each day how much they mean: you never know when one conversation will be your last.

Find something beautiful outside in nature: even when it's freezing and miserable, the world is gorgeous.

Keep a gratitude journal: There is something we have every day that we take for granted.

Call at least one person every day: relationships are a HUGE part of happiness.

Perform small acts of service: they remind us to be humble and thankful.

"Brothers and sisters, no matter our circumstances, no matter our challenges or trials, there is something in each day to embrace and cherish. There is something in each day that can bring gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it.

Perhaps we should be looking less with our eyes and more with our hearts. I love the quote: “One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.”

As i'm preparing for a mission, I think it's especially important to look for the good, not only in life, but in other people. No one is perfect, but we are all sons and daughters of God. Everyone is special.

"But it's just the price I pay

Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
'Cause I'm Mr. Brightside."

New New New

That's right ya'll! It's all new times up here in Logan. New year, new semester, new classes, new friends, new new new! And so far it's started out pretty darn well:) (Including the new episode of Pretty Little Liars that was released last night. Can you say trippy?! Dang Toby :'( still makes me super mad)

Annnyway.... Along with all my new classes, I have signed up for the required English 2010 this semester. One class and i'm already in love. Again. I didn't realize how much I have missed writing!! I went like 8 months without an English class and forgot how much I loved it. Yeah, i've written a little since high school. A couple poems and of course i've tried to keep up this blog, but to be given a topic that I normally wouldn't think of and be FORCED to make time to write about it because it's part of your grade? Well i'm just excited.

Our first day in class we went over the loooong syllabus like all other classes. This is my smallest college class that I have taken yet. There are probably only about 25 of us. (Mostly female... which SUCKS and doesn't help to achieve the "meet new guys" goal for the semester, but oh well. No distractions, right? ;))

After the syllabus, we started getting right into the real stuff. Talking about books, (mainly our love of Harry Potter) poems, and our goals for the semester. I am already stoked about my English teacher. What is it about English teachers that just makes them so awesome?? I had amazing English teachers in high school too! Mrs. Baker sophomore year who taught me to fall in love with poetry. And my all-time favorite teacher Mrs. Vorhees who taught my AP English class my senior year. She -surprisingly- taught me to fall in love with literature and picking apart writings that have a much deeper meaning behind them. Well, my English professor this semester is no different. She's already the bomb.com

First day of class she had us draw a picture of our neighborhood growing up and to put stars by places where we have very distinct memories of childhood experiences. I drew my neighborhood from up in East Layton. On it, I put stars next to my best friend's house, the road where I almost got ran over, the hill that our cars would always slide down in the winter, the block that the mean boys down the street would always chase us on our bikes, the sidewalk where my friends and I would drive her Barbie jeep around all Summer and the construction site.

She then asked us to pick one of the memories that were connected with one of the stars, and write about it. She gave us maybe 20 minutes and then called on some to read theirs in front of the class. I was one of the chosen few. :P I hadn't finished it at the time, but my professor classmates really enjoyed it, so I wanted to type it on here and finish it.... here goes.

Construction Flags 

     The sun was beginning to set. My friends and I all knew what that meant. Time to go home. "Be home when the street lamps turn on" I distinctly heard my mom say as I walked out the door earlier that day.

     My two friends and I had been having a rather boring Summer day. We played our usual round of Barbies and rode our bikes around the block 4 whole times. It was Summer though and so we wanted to make every day count.

     "We need to do something exciting before we go home", my best friend Taylor said. It didn't take us long to decide what we would do.

     Just across the block from our houses, there was a new road being constructed. Our favorite part about construction sites? The pretty colored flags that would be stuck in the ground to proclaim the exciting work that was being done. Little did we know at the time that the flags were vital to the progress of the construction.

    "Let's go take the pretty flags by the new road!" Mckenzie, the third member of our best friend circle exclaimed.

     We all rode with a purpose on our bikes to the construction site in the dusk. We imagined capes flying in the wind behind us as we three rode in a line to achieve our goal We jumped off our moving bikes and sprinted to the pavement hearing our bike bells ring as they hit the sidewalk. Time seemed to move slowly as we picked the flags out of the dirt like one would pick dandelions in a field. Hopping and skipping from one to the next. Then, the streetlights flickered on like a firefly lighting itself up for the first time after nightfall. 

     My two best friends and decided that we should head home before our parents decided that we would be grounded. We couldn't risk 2 whole days at home doing nothing during the Summer. As we headed to the sidewalk to pick up our bikes, we were startled by a voices that were at the top of the construction road. The voices belonged to two large people with flashlights and two large dogs.      

     All of a sudden the thought ran through my mind that maybe we shouldn't have been taking these flags. Maybe we were stealing. In an instant, all of my mothers favorite TV shows were flashing before my eyes. Criminal Minds, CSI, and Law & Order. Cops. These two shadowy figures with flashlights and dogs were policemen. Panic shot through my body and I could tell my friends were thinking it to as they began to run to their bikes. 

     We pedaled as fast as we could - the purple, yellow, and red flags still in our hands as we gripped our handlebars. We stopped in front of my house deciding that we needed to get rid of the evidence. Taylor and Mckenzie were scared that they would get in trouble for being late, so I told them they could take off and I would throw the flags away. They handed me their flags and then I felt uncomfortably alone as I watched my friends getting smaller and smaller.

    My hands were burning with the evidence. After putting my bike away, I headed towards our big black garbage can to discard them, but remembering how the police work in my moms TV shows, I figured that if the cops found my house, they would search our garbage. So instead, I ran down our driveway, across the street and threw them in my neighbors can that was outside of their garage. 

    Walking back into the house, the whole rest of my family was sitting on the couch watching Hook; one of my favorite movies. My mom looked at me, smiled, and said "Oh, is it dark outside already?" I just nodded, kicked off my shoes and tried my best to act casual, being so thankful that I wouldn't have to live with the regret AND live with being grounded. I had a hard time sleeping that night because I was scared that I would hear a knock on the door or see flashlights in the window.

    Never did I mention this felony that I had committed to my parents. The secret stayed between my two best friends and I and we swore each other to never speak of what had happened that night. 

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Whoo! Okay, that's it.. haha I was such a rebel child. It's late though, I'm running out of juice and can't think properly, so I'm heading to bed. Thanks for reading! So far, the semester is going great!